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This period represents a full decade since the term “vanishing” hit the mainstream. Initially, the idea that someone could suddenly stop communication with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a mate has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted attack on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier terrain than their millennial elders could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a extensive guide to the words this generation is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the end of this guide you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Realness – According to gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s response is interested or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This means seeking out someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes partners who forgo having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions validate your choice to date a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, mostly harmless quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

Geese – A band many young men listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly kill any feelings of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {